January Book Review | The House of My Mother

"I am alive, that I survived, and that I have the power to create a legacy of my own."

— shari franke  

The House of My Mother is a book written by Shari Franke, published by Gallery Books on January 7, 2025, depicting her struggles while growing up, learning how to navigate and battle for survival under her mother's house leading up to her mother's arrest in August 2023. 

To summarize, here is a summary from Simon&Schuster (please note, this is not an affiliate link. I am in no way associated. Please support Shari by purchasing a copy of her book):

Shari Franke’s childhood was a constant battle for survival. Her mother, Ruby Franke, enforced a severe moral code while maintaining a facade of a picture-perfect family for their wildly popular YouTube channel 8 Passengers, which documented the day-to-day life of raising six children for a staggering 2.5 million subscribers. But a darker truth lurked beneath the surface—Ruby’s wholesome online persona masked a more tyrannical parenting style than anyone could have imagined.

As the family’s YouTube notoriety grew, so too did Ruby’s delusions of righteousness. Fueled by the sadistic influence of relationship coach Jodi Hildebrandt, together they implemented an inhumane and merciless disciplinary regime.

Ruby and Jodi were arrested in Utah in 2023 on multiple charges of aggravated child abuse. On that fateful day, Shari shared a photo online of a police car outside their home. Her caption had one word: “Finally.”

For the first time, Shari will reveal the disturbing truth behind 8 Passengers and her family’s devastating involvement with Jodi Hildebrandt’s cultish life coaching program, “ConneXions.” No stone is left unturned as Shari exposes the perils of influencer culture and shares for the first time her battle for truth and survival in the face of her mother’s cruelty.

Before picking up this book, please be warned that there are trigger warnings, as this book touches on sensitive subjects of suicidal thoughts, child abuse, and sexual assault. 

I have to admit. I have never heard of the 8 Passengers before. I first learned about their YouTube channel when news broke out in the summer of 2023 where Ruby and Jodi were arrested for aggravated child abuse. 

After learning about the case, I fell deep into the rabbit hole of researching more about the case (learning about connextions—going as far as reading their reviews, 8 Passengers, Mormonism, etc) where viral videos, such as the second oldest losing their bedroom for 7 months, were being resurfaced on popular platforms like TikTok. 

Growing up and being raise in a strict household (thankfully, it is not as strict as what it used to be), I was faced with a similar experience where I felt like I needed my mother's approval, craving for her attention. My mother, too, was pretty physical (slapping our hands, hitting us with a stick, etc) when she was frustrated and yelled at my siblings and I for little things as well as tearing down our self esteem—like calling me "skinny" like a stick figure. As I grew older, my mom would become more emotionally manipulative as well, but over the last couple of years, she hasn't been that way in awhile. 

That said, after reading Shari's incredibly well-written book, there were moments in the book where I deeply sympathized with her and I felt her pain since no one should have to constantly fight for love, approval, or affection, especially from their loved ones. Throughout the book, Shari implies she no longer acknowledges her mom as her mother when she labels her as just "Ruby". With that said, I never understood why parents would abuse and inflict harm on their own children when they should be their protectors. 

From her book, I am also saddened to see that Shari has struggled with mental health issues like depression, and having been through severe depression before myself, it was troubling to see that her mother dismissed it like it wasn't an issue. If you are feeling suicidal and in need of help, please visit these resources:

• 988lifeline.org
• Vibrant.org

As we progress through the book, Shari has illuminated how resilient, brave and strong she was in protecting her siblings in multiple ways. From warning her brother about Jodi to contacting DCFS, Shari proactively did everything she could in trying to keep her siblings safe, while the DCFS system has proven to be flawed and failed to keep her siblings safe in so many ways. 

Lastly, although I am not religious or an expert in Mormonism, it was interesting to see how Jodi's upbringing, while abusing her religion, played a role in her teachings via her counseling services in tearing families apart. Similarly, Ruby's upbringing impacted the way she parents her children. That being said, if you are in need of therapy or counseling services, please do your due diligence in researching about the company before jumping head first into the services. 

In closing, Shari's book goes beyond the themes we touched on above. She highlights the dangers of social media and the legalities surrounding family vlogging, stripping away a child's privacy, the freedom to feel, and their power to make choices just to exploit them for entertainment views and monetary gains. 

With that said, children depend on us to have their backs and protect them, but do we have theirs?